What happens when an artist learns to step aside and let intuition lead? In this intimate interview, Catalunya-based artist Nadezda takes us on a journey from her childhood beginnings—drawing freely on bedroom walls and performing as fairy tale characters—to her current practice of what she calls “co-creation.”
With refreshing honesty, she shares how she’s learned to cultivate states of wonder, trust her deeper creative structures, and create art that emerges from improvisation rather than domination. From her early rock band days to her breakthrough solo exhibition “Secret Hallway” at Modern Eden Gallery, Nadezda reveals how authentic artmaking begins when we tune into our truest creative frequencies and paint from the magical state of “here and now.”
Where Are You From?
I live in Catalunya, Spain.
Where do you long to live (reality or fantasy)?
Here and now.
What started you on your journey into art professionally?
Come with me on a little time machine journey.
First stop – I am five years old. My parents decided to change the old ornamental wall paper in the room I shared with my brother. To my sparkling excitement I was allowed to draw anywhere I want on the wall. The imagination free-flowed through this opportunity window into the world of form.
Cut to – I am six, just wrote my first poem and shared it with grandpa. The poem’s words formed pictures in my mind. We often forget that the poetry is meant to be read out loud.
Next up – I am seven, performing in local theater as a piglet, pinecone, flower, dancing doll, mouse in various fairy tale performances.
During family celebrations my dad plays the guitar, my mom, brother and I sing along. Creative spirit is joyfully dancing to our tune.
Jump to teenage years – I have my own rock band, where I write songs and sign them when we perform in various local music venues.
At seventeen I pick up my first human anatomy book and study graphic design.
In my early twenties I learn artistic discipline at the academic atelier in San Francisco and create concept art for video games and movies.
I paint in oil.
Traveling the world opens my mind to different vantage points of seeing life.
We live in a world of form, through creativity I get to know the vast spiritual realm. The list of creative adventures in my life’s path led me to this day – every experience is precious, it nurtures the soil of my life’s garden where my art grows and blooms from.
It became more “me”. That’s a funny saying, isn’t it? Pythagoras taught: “know thyself”. How simple and confusing at the same time!
How has your art changed and evolved over the years?
It became more “me”. That’s a funny saying, isn’t it? Pythagoras taught: “know thyself”. How simple and confusing at the same time!
Over the years I studied through science and spirituality how to live life as it is intended by my true nature in harmony with the world, with empathy and gentleness to myself and others. In a few months I will be forty and I feel the same as Carl Jung when he said “Life really does begin at forty. Up until then, you are just doing research.”
I feel like I finally built bridges to my deeper structures who guide me in life through intuition. My art is becoming more and more in sync with my inner world’s architecture. I have a better understanding of my values as an artist and human being and confidence to stand by them. I learned an eye-opening ability of being present in the moment and with that – create art from the place of “here and now”, trust the universe and fill my life’s vessel with love, so there is plenty to share with others, including my art.
If your artwork could come to life and interact with you, what kind of conversation would you have with it?
My artwork feels alive. I am in constant conversation with my inner world – it comes from the plane of the ephemeral and invites to be interacted with in different ways.
Sometimes the experience is like augmented reality – my inner world flows into the world of form we all share through imagined pictures, like multiple exposure in photography. One can never get bored playing this way.
My favorite form of interaction is to clear my mind and put my skills I learned to this day at the service of the creativity from within, saying: “Hello, here are my hands, skills and clear mind – speak through me if you’d like.”
I tend to disagree with the word ‘mastery’ when it comes to art; to me ‘mastery’ implies domination of the artist over the artwork. I prefer to see it as co-creation – I bring my accumulated techniques to the table and the intuition brings the ideas and inner compass. The marriage of the two results in a state of flow. So the best way to describe my interaction with art is improvisation and free play. The physical artworks are journal entries of these conversations.
What is the one statement you could give to your younger self that you would give anything to go back and relay to them at a pivotal moment?
You already have all the answers to your questions – they are within your deeper structures. Body is the instrument of the unconscious – learn how to listen to it and you will get all the answers you need.
In what ways do you think your personal experiences and emotions shape the way you connect with your work?
Everything we do in our life, the way we perceive it, depends on our mind-body state as well as focus of attention. I practice noticing throughout the day what mind-body state I am in, what does my body want and steer my present moment from there. I am the one in charge of the emotional state to create my work from. Let’s say I am tired and cranky – I notice it and decide not to create until I can bring myself back into the energetic, joyful, relaxed, magical state.
I keep a list of things handy, like a mood first aid kit of what to do in this scenario. Actions as simple as taking a walk in the forest, sitting outside with my cat, eating a fruit from the tree in the garden, playing a cozy video game, dancing to favorite beats can extraordinarily lift up my mood, and – ta-da! – I feel magical again.
The best word to describe the mind-body state I like to paint from is “wonder”, it’s a certain sensation in my body and mind and it’s in my power to tune myself into it.
Once it’s here – I am able to charge my artwork with it. Different people have different favorite mind-body states for creation as well as doing other things in their lives and it’s in their power to bring themselves into those states, which will affect the outcome of their actions. What is your favorite state for creating? When was the last time you felt it and how did it feel in your body?
What is the most unexpected thing to occur with your work through the years that shifted your perspective in a way you never anticipated?
The most joyful unexpected things were the visuals which come from the free-play improvisation sessions. I remember first time experiencing it five years ago, when I suspended my reason and let the intuition speak. Completely different painting started to emerge in comparison to representational figurative artwork I used to focus on.
Afterwards though, not trusting myself enough, my reason would find excuses to cut up those canvases, and ushered me back into familiar safe routes.
One day my husband gave me a great piece of advice to start a whole group of intuitive paintings instead of just one and when I did so, what a surprise – visually consistent new worlds started to appear in them. Hidden in those marks and narratives there was a language which felt natural to my soul .
At the same time I discovered a book by Stephen Nachmanovitch “Free Play. Improvisation in Art and Life” which reflected and elegantly described in words the abstract feelings I was experiencing.
An international bestseller and beloved classic, Free Play is an inspiring and provocative book, directed toward people in any field who want to contact, honor, and strengthen their own creative powers. It reveals how inspiration arises within us, how that inspiration may be blocked, derailed or obscured, and how finally it can be liberated—how we can be liberated—to speak or sing, write or paint, dance or play, with our own authentic voice.
Stephen Nachmanovitch, a pioneer in free improvisation, integrates material from a wide variety of sources among the arts, sciences, and spiritual traditions of humanity, drawing on unusual quotes, amusing and illuminating anecdotes, and original metaphors. The whole enterprise of improvisation in life and art, of recovering free play and awakening creativity, is about being true to ourselves and our visions. Free Play brings us into direct, active contact with boundless creative energies that we may not even know we had.
I ended up creating a whole collection of such paintings which were presented in my solo show “Secret Hallway” in Modern Eden Gallery in San Francisco. Now it is my favorite way to create.
Have you ever imagined your art as a time capsule—what do you think future generations would think of it?
I don’t know what people will think of it, because everyone sees the world through the filters of their own subjective reality, but I hope that the feeling of my art will inspire them to explore their vast inner worlds free from the outer social expectations, seek deep within their true creative nature beyond rational mind, trust it and create from there. In those personal depths, they will find a sense of joy, harmony and wonder.
